Obviously, I don’t have much time to blog these days. Not with a full-time job, a wife, six-month-old twins, a toddler, and the novel I’m desperately trying to complete. As hundreds (okay, dozens) of strangers and friends have commented, I’m a bit busy right now. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have the makings of some good blog posts. Someday I might even get to them.

In the meantime, I thought I’d post a compilation of some of the best Alexisms that I’ve collected over the last six months or so, along with some cute photos. Enjoy…

“Gotcha!”

From the early days when she still called herself “you”:
“Mimi, kiss your butt.”
“You lay on my boob?”
“Mimi, pick you up.”
“There’s a fruit snack under your butt.”
And to Grammy: “You pee on the couch.”

A: “Give Mimi’s glasses a kiss?”
Me: “Sure.”
A: “Not eat Mimi’s glasses?”
Me: “No, thank you. Really.”

Me: “Alex, what are you doing?”
A: “Giving Maggie [the dog] the finger.”

A: “Snakes not like Mama?”
Me: “Probably not.”
A: “Not like Mimi, too?”
Me: “You know, I get along with snakes.”

A, as we’re walking out to the car: “Alex drive?”
Me: “Um, no.”
A: “My baby sisters not drive?”
Me: “Thankfully, no.”

“Dabba dabba do what you do to me monkey.” –A toddler mashup of the Flintsones (which she has never seen) and a ’60s tune, with a monkey thrown in because who doesn’t like monkeys?

Another song rewrite:
“Baa baa black sheep
Have you any more
Yessir, yessir, three mugs more
One for my hamster, one for my dame
One for the little boy who lives in the lane…”

Trike girl

A:  “Alex gets 1 vitamin?”
Me: “Correct.”
A: “But Mimi gets 2 vitamins?”
Me: “Yes, and do you know why?”
A: “Because Mimi is old and sick.”
Kris: “Not that old.”
Me: “And not, like, bedridden.”

“It’s a bird, it’s a plane…”

Me: “Wow, Ellie’s outfit is frighteningly ugly.”
Kris, giving me a look: “Shh. Alex picked it out.”
A, from across the room: “That’s not true that I picked her outfit.”
Kris: “Yes, you did!”
A, laughing: “No I didn’t!”

A: “There’s a red bunny on your shirt?”
Me: “Well, I think it’s orange.”
A: “Who ever heard of an orange bunny? It should be white.”

Bookstore girl

Me: “Hey Kris, can you pick up Ellie?”
A: “That’s not Ellie, that’s Sydney.”
Doh. She’s right.

Me: “Bye, Alex, I love you.”
A: “Don’t kiss my hair. There’s stuff in it.”
Seriously? Is she two or twelve?

A: “This is not The Cat in the Hat Comes Back.”
Me: “No, it’s the first one, The Cat in the Hat.”
A: “Hmph.”
Me: “Do you want to go find The Cat in the Hat Comes Back?”
A: “No, I’m too busy reading.”

Me: “Did you poop in your diaper?”
A: “No, I didn’t.”
Me: “I think maybe you did. Your diaper stinks.”
A: “That’s your breath.”

And I thought we could end with one from Kris: “Sometimes I think Ellie looks like Bruce Willis. Not the Moonlighting Bruce Willis but the Die Hard one.”
Me: “Totally.”

Bruce & Ellie